Posted by vangrossadmin in Uncategorized 13 Dec 2016


“Go with dancing in groups to Whoomp There It Is”, utters the King of Kings

….“Then get your Instant Karma on”

By Van Gross, M.D.- World Sociology and Theology Reporter

December 2016


God handed down a new proclamation to Moses today. He couldn’t find the original one so he spoke to Edwin Moses an American former track and field athlete who won gold medals in the 400 m hurdles at the 1976 and 1984 Olympics.

“Jiving” to what the Lord called a tune he “digs”, the Almighty is noted in background vocals crooning to Moses the sound of Whoomp There It Is as he dishes as follows:

“What my pronouncement has to do with Edwin Moses, I don’t know, but he’s black and Gawker says Obama was also on this Whoomp There It Is video. And he’s black too.

“Look Ed. You covered stuff in the 70’sand 80’s. Whoomp there it is was kind of a theme of the 90’s. The 2000’s took hold and what came out of that? Van Gross, MD and his ridiculous website?

Now here we are closing in on the visionary year of 2020 and what the world needs now is love sweet love as Dusty Springfield sang in the 60’s soon after Kennedy was shot.

“What is out there now? Fifty years after all these cataclysmic changes, supplemented by terrorism, we need some relief again. It’s not music relief. It’s comic relief courtesy of the politicians and the media. If I had my druthers, I’d put CNN and Fox News on a slow boat to the Planet Atheist.

“Then you have the doping. That’s a pabulum too whether it’s oxycontin in the streets, doping at Lance’s bike races or celebrating dopes like Hitler who thought Nazis could beat Jesse Owens at the Berlin Olympics.

“But there’s another comfort woman out there: the gadgets. As Thomas Friedman says, ‘When you press pause on the computer, it stops. But when a human being pauses, the thinking starts. ‘ That’s the problem now. There’s exponential acceleration of everything due to face pages, tweeter, snap crackle pop chat or instant karma. “

The Lord then breaks into the old John Lennon atheistic song. …Instant Karma, “feeling some Instagram spelling similarity vibe”:“Better get yourself together darling….join the human race.”

“The reality is, Ed,” His Holiness continued, “Instant Karma can’t get you if you’re too busy typing on your IPhone, your IPad, your Eye of the Tiger or trolling What’sApp. You’ve got to go out there and meet and greet some actual people… the flesh.”

God went on to indicate, “Then it’ll get you Ed…just like you at those Olympic Games. And tell all those youngins’ out there to stop IM’ing and start running hurdles like you must still do. All this gadget comfort is feeding into the childhood obesity epidemic. And when you pass the baton, who’s gonna have the endurance to meet and greet me here on Mt. Sinai for some more pronouncements?”