THE FIVE BOOKS OF VAN GROSS’S WILL BE AVAILABLE AS E-BOOKS
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by Van Gross, MD
From the Felt Man
to the Veep Man
by Van Gross, MD
Not Me Dick, the Duck
by Van Gross, MD
by Van Gross, MD
by Van Gross, MD
THE EMERGENCE OF VAN GROSS, MD
featuring these Jim Dandy favorites:
flashback from December 31, 2009
PLUS PREVIEWING SOON: MID DECADE MEMORY LANER
CHENEY BEGINS PROGRAM OF SHOOTING LAWYERS IN THE FOREST
AND MORE UPCOMING MARVELOUS CHENEY NEUROSATIRE
JUST IN TIME FOR HIS MEMOIR RELEASE!!!!
BY VAN GROSS, MD
“As I’ve watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war. He seems to think if he has a low key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gives terrorists the rights of Americans, lets them lawyer up and reads them their Miranda rights, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if we bring the mastermind of 9/11 to New York, give him a lawyer and trial in civilian court, we won’t be at war.”
-Dick Cheney December 30, 2009
Overwhelmed linguists hearing the transcript of the above Aughts’ end pronouncement by one Dick “Grammar Time” Cheney were feeling some intellectual shock and awe as they tried hard to assimilate the delicate grammatical neologisms and nuances the ex-Vice President spun at his Wyoming based F*ck This Language Center today.
“Chain of Fools” does what he wants with lawyers, that’s for sure. Sometimes they’re shot during hunting trips. Other times they’re ignored when issuing subpoenas about executive branch crimes. And if a few of them line him and Bush up for post 9/11 questions at some high and mighty commission, it’s “you know what you can do with your damn hearing”. Lawyers may have been nouns at one time. Now they’re verbs produced by the Chain Gangster of Grammatical Reconstruction.
Them’s fighting words articulated the Literary Soldier/Scholar who was Second/First in Command of the USA:
“Hey pass the booze. I’m all lawyered up. You may think I’m liquored up but I’m lawyered up. Read me my Veranda rights Obama on the Treaty of Versailles Veranda, you pacificist.”
Cheney has called out Obama about what to call what’s going on around here lately. Chain Man knows a war when he sees one. That’s why he’ll take any lawyer like Obama “out on a hunting trip” who even threatens to say the word Kumbayah. Here’s the Chainmeister:
“You have a kid coming here with blow-up powder in his shorts. That’s war. You have a bunch of Yemeni ragheads in a hashish parlor plotting the whole thing. It’s time for war on Yemeni ragheads. Turn the place into a parking lot. Okay it’s already a parking lot? Okay turn the parking lot into a battlefield so we can yank Yemeni women and children out of their huts and show them the meaning of war.
The man many have labeled Richard the Lionhearted ended with clenched fist and gritted teeth:
“Show me a lawyer at some towel head trial in the middle of the lower Manhattan war zone and I’ll show you a lawyer who needs to have his brains blown out. Maybe he’ll learn the meaning of war at that point.”
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TRADE THEM WITH YOUR FRIENDS, THROW THEM AGAINST THE WALL, BURN OR SHRED THEM………….
If you would like to arrange a Lecture by Van Gross, MD during which he will discuss The Emergence and the entire new subject of NeuroAbsurdia and Neurosatire, contact Van Gross, MD scheduling people via this Contact Page
Van Gross, MD Issues Pre-Book Apology to Makers of News, Makers of Cheerios, Major Religions, Atheism, Cults, Institutions of Sports, Sex, Marriage, Medicine, Neuroscience, along with Zealots, Racists, the Kumbaya Crowd, Kids, Teens, The Aged, Tweens, All Adults, All Presidents Living or Dead, Other Dead, God and Freud
Four score and seven years ago, plus a century and change, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that Van Gross, MD should be allowed to write NeuroAbsurdia and Neurosatire.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, of polarized opinions, laced with threats real and imagined, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war, the pages of The Emergence of Van Gross, MD. We have come to dedicate a portion of this book, as a final resting place for those who here gave their coverage in the press, their contradictory elements, their ridiculous promulgations and over the top behavior that that Van Gross, MD emergence book might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this (although this sentence is a bit redundant).
But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground that Van Gross, MD treads upon. That would fuel Van Gross, MD narcissism which already demands an investigation. The brave men, women, gays, lesbians and Hugh Hefner living and dead, who struggled to buy this book with expired credit cards on Amazon.com and then were subjected to reading it, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what Van Gross, MD says here, but it can never forget what Van Gross, MD did not apologize for here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which the dead, who thankfully can’t read this book, have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion-absolutely no purchasing or reading of any Van Gross, MD book, now or in the future—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain despite being forced to tolerate Van Gross, MD during their pathetic lives of intermittent Van Gross, MD brainwashing—that this nation, these Americas, this world, under God or riding shotgun with Camus shall have a new birth of freedom and mandatory non-reading of Van Gross, MD scribble—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth, excepting a giant tsunami, either that or we start singing along with Mitch, Lady Gaga or John Lennon crooning “Imagine there’s no country” while pondering Che, Master Haywood Allen, Malinowski, Bill Buckley or Carl Jung and grooving on some Trotsky/Bruno Bettelheim or at least wolfing down a helping of Ayn Rand if not Jean Jacques Rousseau.